During Asian American Pacific American (AAPI) Heritage Month, I reached out to two colleagues of mine to see if they’d be interested in telling their stories as Asian American Women with different upbringings and identities. We talked about their experiences growing up, moving through the school system and into college, specific family values and expectations, entering the workforce, and how they’ve paved their own path here at Bright Horizons.

Catharine Kelley, Diversity Strategist at Bright Horizons, was adopted from Korea when she was 4 months old, and was raised in Quincy, Massachusetts. Being raised by her Irish American Catholic family, she deeply resonates with that part of her identity. She is passionate about equity, inclusion, representation, and acceptance in [and out of] the workplace.

Sarah Kwon, Divisional Marketing Manager at Bright Horizons, is a Korean American and was raised in Virginia by her immigrant parents. She started off as a teacher at Bright Horizons and has worked her way up to her current role – which she describes as her “dream role.”

Thank you both for talking with me! I am so excited to hear both of your stories. Can you both start by telling me about your early family life?

SK: I was actually born in South Korea, but I came to the states when I was only 7 months old and have not been back to Korea since; and I got my U.S. citizenship several years ago! I’ve lived in Virginia all my life, and I'm the oldest out of 6, so it's a large family. My youngest sibling and I are 13 years apart and she does not see me as a sister; she truly sees me as a second mom.

On top of my oldest sibling duties, I was also the official translator for everything. I swear I was translating government documents when I was 7 years old!

CK: I was found on police station stairs in Seoul, South Korea as a baby, brought to an orphanage then placed with foster parents about a month later. Meanwhile, in America, my parents lived in Quincy, Massachusetts. They could not biologically have children, and a friend of theirs had just adopted an infant from South Korea and introduced my parents to their contact at the adoption agency. My parents applied and about a year later, I arrived. My brother, Dennis, was adopted from South Korea two years later to join our family.

My mom is the eldest of 8 kids. Dennis and I are the oldest grandkids. We are closer in age to my mom's youngest 4 siblings than she is, so your story resonates with me Sarah!

Sarah, what was it like having parents that spoke little English growing up? And Catharine, what was it like growing up with white parents?

SK: It was really frustrating, to be honest. Like I said, I was the official translator for the family! Thankfully there was a large Korean community where I lived in Virginia. Growing up there, it was helpful to have friends that looked like me because we all lived in the same apartment complex.

CK: Where I grew up, there were not many mixed race families. But it was a close knit neighborhood where people watched out for each other, and everyone (including us) self-identified as Irish Catholic. Dennis and I played kickball, soccer, tag in the street, and we blended in with everyone else.

There were a lot of veterans in my family and in my neighborhood, so we were told stories of Asian countries. People would tell us how lucky we were to have been “saved by our parents” and our parents would always say that they were the lucky ones.

What were your school experiences like?

SK: When it came to school, there weren't as many translators as they have now. Whenever there were parent teacher conferences, my parents wouldn't know about it because the school forms would come home from school, but they had no idea what they meant.

And because my parents were immigrants, they were really trying to live out that American Dream. For them, that meant working 13+ hours a day in their deli. So, my siblings and I were practically raised by my grandmother.

CK: For me, I felt like I was part of the community, but things started to change around the 7th grade when there was a huge amount of Asian immigration due to a war overseas. We had strangers tell us to “go back to where we came from,” “I am surprised you are not good at math,” use derogatory language at or about us. We were often asked “what are you?” because we were Asian looking but had thick Boston accents. People who knew us would say, "they are okay, those are the Kelley kids".

What are some of the cultural aspects of your family dynamic that influenced you?

SK: My parents hard work ethic continues to influence me. I try to honor their work ethic by being an outstanding employee at Bright Horizons.

Both of my parents are STILL working and providing for my younger siblings. My mom raised all of us with the mindset that if we’re going to do something, we better give it all we’ve got. That is because my parents left their home country and started off BRAND NEW, with nothing, in a foreign place and built a home, business, and new community on their own. My parents worked 70+ hours a week so that we could have opportunities they could only dream of growing up. I’ll never take for granted the countless sacrifices they made.

CK: I really resonate with what you said, Sarah, because I grew up middle class but my grandparents were Irish immigrants working for that American Dream, too. My grandpa was a lawyer and my grandma a nurse; both worked long hours and childcare was tough to manage. All of my family worked while attending school. My dad drove a truck during the day and went to law school at night. So, my parents have that same work ethic and passed that on to us.

My family taught me and my brother about hard work, education as a priority, service to our Country, loyalty, and being grateful for what we have.

In my family, we celebrated holidays and birthdays – and my brother and I got the bonus of our ‘anniversary’ which is the day we arrived in America. My mother made Irish food (soda bread, corned beef, cabbage and potatoes) for our birthdays and Korean food (mandu, bulgogi, rice, and japchae) for our anniversaries. Every night we ate dinner together as a family. So, we have a love for cooking because of that too! My brother is now a professional Chef.

How was your experience going to college?

SK: I couldn't get into the schools I wanted to go to, so I had to go into Community College first. I remember feeling so ashamed of that because of the expectations around college, but I used that opportunity to really push myself and just focus on my goals, and I was able to transfer to a state university within a year, and I made the Dean’s list! I remember my parents were so impressed by how determined I was. I made it really clear to them, that while I was growing up, I always focused on my siblings and their well-being. But in my college years, I was really going to focus on myself.

CK: I went to a Catholic College in Massachusetts. Freshman year, a nun asked me to create an Asian club for Asian celebrations... I explained I was adopted and grew up Irish Catholic American. When China won a few medals in the Olympics, as I walked to class, students and faculty yelled congratulations to me.

Also, when I had my first internship experience, I was asked if I wanted to join the Asian club at work, I declined but asked if they had an Irish one. Throughout this time, it was made clear how people categorized me and made preconceived notions about who I am. But I just thought of it as curiosity, and tried to answer questions that I was comfortable with.

What was your journey like transitioning into the work force?

SK: I graduated on a Friday with a degree in early education – and I started at Bright Horizons the following Monday as a lead preschool teacher. Growing up, I saw that when you start off with an early education before kindergarten, it provides such a strong foundation for children. I saw the positives of that, so that's why I went into the early education field. I’ve had multiple roles since then, and now am a Divisional Marketing Manager!

CK: My journey was relatively smooth, but I’d often come in for a job interview and be asked confusingly “You are Catharine Kelley?” They’d usually repeat it, too. One interviewer asked me about my Boston accent and when I said I was adopted at 4 months old, they asked if I spoke Korean and I jokingly said, “I was adopted at 4 months old, did you speak a language at 4 months old?”

What do you love most about your current role?

SK: It really is the perfect role for me. I’m able to proudly talk about our centers from different lenses; I can talk about it as a BH parent, because my son goes to one of our centers. I can talk about it as a former teacher and director, and I can talk about it from a marketing perspective as well. It's a very authentic way that I'm able to share and connect with families.

Being a working parent is the hardest thing, but I am so fortunate to be part of an organization that understands the different hats that working parents' wear.

My team is so understanding of the fact that there are days that my son will be home sick, or he has a last-minute doctor visit, etc. And it is hard to juggle if you don't have a supporting supervisor or a supporting team. But thankfully I do have that. They’re always the first to ask, “How can I support you? What can I take off your plate?” That's why I love Bright Horizons so much. We genuinely want to be there for each other, as people.

CK: Sarah, that's inclusion and belonging right there!

For me, I love that I work for a company with a mission to improve the lives of families. As a Diversity Strategist, I love that in my role, the learning never stops, and I can use my experience to fuel my career. Throughout my life, I’ve been asked “What ARE you?” And I’d say “human.” At Bright Horizons, I feel we are all connected, included, and appreciated as human beings. That’s what makes it a great place to work!